Chillaxedness?

I'm trying to be as chill and not mopey as possible.

Yeah, so I asked Dan out. I've started to act like a total spazz around him, and that just can't go on. So I got it over with, with the expected result. What he said was really lame, though, even though I know he was just trying to let me down easy. Remember when I asked out Matt Kruger, and his response was, "Well, yeah, but there's only a month left until Winter vacation and I don't really want to start dating anyone right now?" That came accross as "Well, uh, you're not worth overcoming my lazyness." Also recall when I confessed to Shaun that despite going to different schools and having gotten a boyfriend in AZ, I was still mad about him and still wanted to be with only him, he responded, "I definitely like you, Eleanor, but I don't want to start anything with you so far away in Arizona." In other words, "It's cool when we're in the same state, but I don't want to talk to you enough to call you or e-mail you."

Alright, so the lame comment of tonight was, "I like you, but I'm not very good with girls, and I spend all my time painting."

I was inclined to respond, "Yeah, well, I don't care. Date me anyway."

But I restrained myself.

I have enough respect for Dan that I will take what he said at face value, and try to not come up with my own interpretation of what he said.

And now I'm actively being mature about it. Or not. Well, I'm trying. I read Steppie's blog, and her cheerful attitude cheered me up a great deal, and has put me in a pleasant frame of mind.

Intellectually I know that Dan's right- I technically don't have time for a relationship either. That's never stopped me from pursuing it, though, and I always have trouble understanding people who do let it stop them. I get so impatient sometimes- I want to do everything right now! I want to live an entire lifetime worth of emotions and experiences simultaneously and every day. I want to learn every language, and walk every inch of the Earth. I want to know everything there is to know, read every book, and see every movie. That's why I find book stores so depressing-there are so many books I'll never find the time to read.

Oh, and Jim just referred to me as "sexual ADD girl." It's funny cuz it's true.

Alright, I'm going to go have some soy ice-cream, and hit the hay. I spend 7.5 hours in the jewelry studio today, so I'm all tuckered out. Ooh, and I went to Dan's show opening- his paintings were by far the best, I think. ^_^ It reminded me that I need to get around to finishing that portrait I started at camp this summer. You know, in my copious free time.